My First Post 🙂 This is exciting.
Sexuality… what’s the first word you think of when you hear that words? Me? “Homosexuality” What was yours?
You could search Google, but of course.. then you got hours and hours of information to search through. Oh joy! You bring up Wiki though, and something very peculiar comes up. On the side bar there is a box of other links of “Close Relationships”.
Is that what Sexuality is? How you relate to other people physically? Whether you’re in a Casual relationship, a monogamy relationship, a same-sex relationship, an open marriage?
Wiki defines human Sexuality as, “how people experience the erotic and express themselves as sexual beings; the awareness of themselves as males or females; the capacity they have for erotic experiences and responses.[1] Human sexuality can be described as the way someone is attracted to other people. What they feel can be heterosexual (attracted to the opposite sex), homosexual (attracted to the same sex) or bisexual (attracted to both sexes).[2]“
It goes on to say, “The term Human sexuality can also cover cultural, political, legal and philosophical aspects. It may also refer to issues of morality,ethics, theology, spirituality or religion and how they relate to all things sexual.”
So, Basically… “Human Sexuality” can have a meaning of…anything you want it to… as long as it’s related to sexuality. Well that helps us narrow it down right ! Right!
This wouldn’t really be a blog without a a little personal flare from myself, right? So I’m going to basically explore my own sexuality here, and use it in relation to this blog.
I am a bi-sexual male. But there is one problem I have with my sexuality. Mentally I am extremely attracted to men, in my mind men fill my fantasies, they’re looks, smells, smile, all play a role in my “bisexuality-ness”. But I crave women for their complexities , it is as if I crave them for my psychological and emotional needs as a sexual being. Of course, procreation plays a big role in who I’ve chosen to be my love of my life, a woman.
I like to compare it to a regular heterosexual relationship. Except, me as the male, think and fantasize and “check-out” other men. You know how men joke and talk about other woman, “Check her out!” “Jennifer Lopez is one hot momma!”, For me.. it’s like that.. only for the opposite sex.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the beauty of woman, but I think mentally I put their beauty up on this stand. I think they are almost too beautiful to degrade with my own mental thoughts and fantasies.
Just with the First three paragraphs of my sexuality, we run into a lot of topics just dying to get their fair share of discussion.
One of my very close friends asked me about my sexuality, and I told him… “Well… I’m bisexual”, this however, did not suffice his question, he wanted alot of details about my turn ons, etc.
When I thought about it I couldn’t answer his question on the spot. I told him, when I get it figured out in words, I would tell him. That night I went home and wrote up ‘my sexuality’. My introspective findings were astonishing to me. I realized I had a very different sexuality than most. I believe this was because I viewed sexuality in a different way than others.
To me there is alot more aspects to sexuality than “Do you like boys or do you like girls, or… do you like them both?” For me… I like both. But that isn’t a good enough answer for me. For a normal heterosexual male, it’s easy to say ” I like woman, and that is all.” From that it is easy to say that this male, likes to have sexual relations with woman, he likes to open himself and be vulnerable to a woman, he loves to look at woman, he admires woman and their personalities and quirks. It is easy… to define his sexuality.
But for me… It’s different, as I’m sure if you look deep inside your sexuality, you would admit.. it’s a tad different from the ‘normal’ heterosexuality.
In my introspective research of my own sexuality I had come to the conclusion that there are a few major contributions to how our final outcome of sexuality should be decided upon.
SHALLOW MIND : This part of your sexuality could be pictured as your sexual fantasies, your internal processes which decided what turns you on, and what turns you off. What aspects of the human body and mind you crave and desire for. Basically, this is the part of your sexuality which decides : if a penis turns you on, if a woman’s nipples protruding out of her shirt turns you on, if a man’s laugh makes you feel happy inside.
The shallow mind is… well shallow. It decides, if your attracted to fat, skinny, asian, white, loud, quiet, angry, happy, men or woman lovers. The shallow mind has a particular list it has for potential lovers or sexual mediums (by a sexual medium, I mean anyone or thing that brings you sexual pleasure).
SHALLOW BODY: This is the part of your sexuality that craves, physical touching. If you’re a man, it’s the part of you that decides if you like your nipples to be touched during orgasm or foreplay, this rule could also apply to women as well. Another example of the shallow body, is that part of you stirs when you think about sexual topics. Your sexual organs crave constant attention, this is the shallow body, although it may seem like your mind thinking about your turn ons that is turning you on, when in fact.. it’s your shallow body craving that attention, thus starting to prepare for it.
Your shallow body, like your mind is also shallow. It’s almost the opposite of shallow though, because it doesn’t care about how it gets that fix of sexual attention. An example of this is how easily it would be to trick a heterosexual male into a homosexual act of oral intercourse. To that male’s shallow body… “A mouth is a mouth”, his penis doesn’t care about how it is stimulated. Reveal to him, the bud of the joke, his shallow mind will instantly stop all sexual interactions. Because a heterosexual, a male touching and pleasing him is an extreme turn off.
EMOTIONAL SPIRIT: Is the part of your sexuality which craves personality and zest in the person you are either in a relationship with, or having sexual relations with.
It wouldn’t be fun to have sex with a person who doesn’t stop talking, but if you love this psychologically, you will still love that about them. This is the most complex about your sexuality, because it involves so many aspects of the person. This is probably what those dating sites try to connect people on. When people are emotionally connected sexual relations will be just as pleasing as those emotional connections. The emotional spirit craves connection so much… we connect with others almost daily. Though we don’t have sex with these people, we crave that interaction so much, we search for these attributes in our regular friendships, even business relations and acquaintances.
That is my theory of what makes up a person’s sexuality. So here is my theory of what Sex and Love is.
SEX: The interactions of one’s Shallow Body, and Shallow Mind
LOVE: The interactions of one’s Shallow Body, Shallow Mind, and Emotional Spirit
Think about this long and hard (ha, long and hard, sorry :P) and make a chart of your sexuality. This is an introduction, to SEXUALITY, most likely a huge part of my blog.
I would like to be the first person to point out here, it is very possible for someone to love one person fully, but to still have sexual relations with other people. Because sex doesn’t involve the person’s emotional spirit, it is most likely their shallow body subdued to extreme pressure, and alot of pressure from the person’s shallow mind, pointing out all the beautiful parts of the adulterer. Of course I’m sure this topic will be a blog subject all together.
Thank you for reading, for thinking, for bring your mind to LIFE/SEX/ET AL
-J.A
Reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_relationship
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexuality#Psychological_aspects
lifesexetal 